Dear Leader,
I trust this meets you in pursuit of greatness.
One of the lessons I had to learn when I first stepped into leadership was this: you cannot lead well if you are desperate to remain “just one of the group.”
I remember when I became a leader among my peers. These were people I had laughed with, studied with, and shared countless inside jokes with. Suddenly, the spotlight was on me. I was the one expected to set direction, enforce rules, and sometimes say “no.”
At first, I tried to lead without changing anything in our friendship. I wanted everyone to like me the same way they always had. I wanted to keep the status quo.
It didn’t work.
Soon enough, the cracks showed. I avoided addressing critical issues because I didn’t want to upset my friends. When deadlines slipped, I kept silent. When one of them overstepped, I looked the other way. In the end, It was obvious I wasn’t leading. I was simply trying to preserve my friendships. And ironically, the very people I wanted to keep close began to lose respect for me.
This is not about change of character. There are certain responsibilities tied to leadership that your friends must understand.
The turning point came when I realized that real friends will respect you more for being a responsible leader than for being a convenient one. It takes courage to step up and lead. I had to learn to embrace the demands on leadership, even if it meant being misunderstood at times by friends. Yes, it strained some friendships, but it also deepened others. Leadership will strain some friendships, you need to know this early enough. The ones who valued me as both a leader and their friend stayed.
To keep this letter short, here’s my action point for you: Decide early that your leadership must serve a higher purpose than your comfort. Your friends are important but they shouldn’t be the wall stopping you from serving a higher purpose you have been called to serve. Your friends may not always agree with you, but if you stay consistent in character, fair, and respectful, they will eventually respect the line you draw between friendship and leadership.
Start today. Draw that line, with your character!
I’m rooting for you always,
The Great Owete