Dear Leader,
I trust this meets you in pursuit of trouble.
Yes, last week, I wrote to you about trouble and I mentioned that problem solving is the quickest way to gain leadership. It’s an encouragement for you to look for problems to solve, and not run away from problems.
Similarly, I believe that all leaders will face conflict at one point or the other in their leadership journey. Difficult people and circumstances will arise as you lead. So, as a leader, you should recognise and accept 3 things about conflict:
- Conflict is natural: In one of my undergraduate courses called Social Problems, my lecturer humorously said that conflict happens everywhere even in heaven, and he made reference to the conflict in heaven that led to the fall of Lucifer. Conflict is natural, it occurs because of human differences. Know this and know what? Peace.
- Conflict is neutral: If you believe conflict is natural, then you should know that conflict in itself is neither destructive or constructive, it is neither good nor bad.
- Conflict is normal: It doesn’t only happen to bad people. It happens to all of us.
So, as a leader, what do you do when conflict arises?
- Don’t address conflict from emotions. Wait until you can be objective. Don’t act in anger. It may grow worse.
- Initiate contact when your anger is doused. You don’t have to wait for the other person to make the call and make things right. The real leader always goes first.
- Begin first with affirmation. In everything it is always good to start on a positive note. Encourage the other person first, then receive the permission to talk candidly about the issue.
- Admit the problem but don’t throw blame. You are here to solve problems, not to point fingers at the other person’s problems. Bring up the issue, explain what you understand and clarify and understand what the other person understands, without judging or condemning.
- After you lay out the issue, let the individual speak from his or her angle.
- Then identify and prioritise the issues, one at a time,
- Establish forgiveness and repentance if needed.
- Be flexible with everything but stand on the truth, stand on principles.
- Finally, never let the other person doubt your love. Affirm your love as you close.
Conflict resolution is a skill for leaders. Don’t shy away from it. We are in this together.
You’re welcome